Kicking Stress to the Side
If you have been following my twitter you will know that I have been sick. Just your run of the mill cold, so no worries. I took a half/sick day at work today to come home, rest, and recuperate. After stopping by the post office and library (which are always closed when I get off work) I changed into some comfy clothes and plopped on the couch to veg out. But I didn't end up vegging. I started worrying. And thinking, and getting myself worked up. About money. I was in the position to get some real rest during a rare afternoon home, and I wasted it away stressing out about bills and how to start meal planning on a very slim budget. I have the worst tendencies to:
I am an oldest child, a part-time type A personality, and over all ball of festering worry.
And it doesn't work.
The silly thing about this afternoon was, I was glad to get away from the stress of work a few hours earlier than usual to go home and relax, but I traded one stress for another that I completely put on myself. When T.W. came home and brought up another financial matter that will take place later this year I immediately flew off the handle and started crying. If I had been relaxed and calm this afternoon I might have been able to meet his topic of conversation with a calmer mind. Instead it turned into another stressing conversation about money. Stress is not one of those little things you can compartmentalize. It seeps into every nook and cranny of life, and takes over my ability to function like a normal balanced human being. Well... we may not all be balanced... It's just another aspect of being a human that wears me down and makes me realized I need a savior.
This year I need to realize and be at peace with the fact that I am not in control of everything, and to remind myself that relaxing every once in a while is a good thing. Especially when I'm sick.
So... after I hit "publish" I am going to bed. At 8. Yup. I'm going to harness my inner five year old and go to bed before 9:00.