I see you… perusing the aisle of Target. You're looking at the yoga mats. You pick it up. Envisioning a thinner, more flexible you with skin tight stretchy pants cellulite free and a perfect pony tail draped down your back as you look up to the ceiling arms extended….
"I think I'll make a resolution to lose weight"
Three weeks later I'm sitting on the couch binge-festing on netflix with some high butter content popcorn.
Yeah that was me last year. Good job self! You FAILED!
And it wasn't just yoga. I thought "This is the year I’m going to get healthy. I'm going to lose all sorts of weight and be the hottest chic at the Christmas parties next year." I even legitimized my desire to lose weight thinking "I need to get in shape anyway before we start having kids! I can't be fat before I get FATTER!"
HA! I have actually gained weight this year to be the heaviest I've ever been. No numbers will be revealed, but lets just say I had to go up a couple pants sizes. I plague myself with guilt thinking about how much time I really have especially now that I live and work in the same town for the first time in two years, and have no children. My cat counts right? I have to go home and take care of my cat… Heh.
Why kid myself? I LOVE new starts, new beginnings, clean slates, broad horizons, blank pages. Especially when we have a new digit to write behind "201_" But as a person who is really good at procrastinating and then guilt tripping after nothing gets done or changes I have a hard time making myself write down any resolutions this year. BUT I do have some hopes for the year.
I think if we are growing in Christ then we will be exhibiting changes in our lives that may not look like everyone else's gym memberships and new stretchy pants, but could be even better.
So here are my hopes;
- I hope to realize that my body is a temple needing care and attention so that I can serve God better. Yesterday I realized that losing weight could actually be considered a visible sign of repentance as we cast aside the sins of slothful, gluttonous living! WOAH. That doesn't make you feel guilty does it!?
- I hope to utilize the gifts God has given me to serve Him and others. Through many circumstances and events over the past few years I feel like I have lost touch with who I am.
It could be a quarter life crisis, or it could be all of the changes that trigger some pre-existing depressive tendencies. Whatever it is, I hope to have strength to go back to being "me".
I'm not going to promise more blog posts, more pictures, etc. But maybe as that second hope up there is realized these things will come as a result. If all of the blank notebooks and planners and pens I have bought and received this Christmas are any indication of untapped potential who knows? I could write a book this year!
Woah there Nelly… Let's start with baby steps.
Here's to prayerfully considering what needs to change in our lives. Even if it's just organizing the linen closet or throwing out all the junk food and eating "clean" for a few weeks. We must be willing to change for the LORD not ourselves. Once we are doing something for Him, we have a greater chance of completing those goals.
Let's HOPE together!
Katherine is your typical white female who likes pumpkin spice lattes, anything fall scented, and the color 'mint'. But She also is the wife of a seminary student and a woman who strives to live a creative life for the glory of her maker. Now ain't that somethin' different?